tinybear23

ive been purging nd binging alot lately but ive decided to go back on ABC, stop drinkin nd make exercise a priority, (duh) like iit is now, but gradually increase it to 6 times a week wit cardio nd strength. but yea 120 by june 1st!

weightwatchers chocolate bar 80 cals plus like 3 mints 30cals?325 total at like 6:00

small apple:55 cals
oatmeal:160
9:30 am total cal 215

http://anabootcamp.piczo.com/?cr=3
tomarrow

i just purged, idk y. but i dont feel better dont feel worse. but i kno i dont wanna do it again..its a nasty trap. but i got super motivated to day planed out my eating for the nxt couple weeks..starting this weekend wen i get paid.im so xcited ive had no money nd there for have not been able to stay stricktly vegan (but mostly vegitarian). ne way i ve already got the workouts down b/c of my personal training book but i lost my "skinny bitch" book so i must buy another. i read it wen i wanna eat meat and/or dairy. it reminds me y not to. lately (past 4 days) ive been perfecting my strength moves nd warming up my cardio endurance so wen i officaly start sunday (week one of the first eight) i'll be prepared nd wont work myself to death. its hard to stay energized to workout with my new job. im contemplating diet pill to give me energy, i dont do caffine b/c of anxiety but im sure a lil wont bother me. jeez i dont even have caffinated tea. watev gots laundry to fold....

i ve just read sum past entries nd i feel sick. how cld i let myself go like this. i feel panicy nd sick now. but it will be ok. it will be ok..b/c i am good at restricting nd working out. hve a preety easy plan, ive recently gone back vegan-ish, yesterday was my last dairy day, nd i've cut sugar nd carbs. its much easier not to eat wen ive had fruit, vegie, whole grain, protien. then i can say ive eatin all i need nd its normaly under 300, but no more than 500cals. so im gonna do wat i kno nd try nt to purge. wich iz weired b/c i dont even binge nd i wanna purge, like i''ll cheat nd have one piece sushi nd throw up. wtf? idk but im gonna go work out nd feel better.

 im really xcited, i bought this personal training book nd i have this super awesome workout now! cardio, strength, fleziblity and agility training!! so the first part is 8 weeks long so ive changed my diet  so its fruit, salad/gardenburger, brown rice. its so stupid b/c i miss my consistent salad at lunch but there is only salad to eat at work so if i work latere i eat like my din for lunch and visa versa. but that diet is for 4 weeks then its fruit, v8/garden burger, for weeks 5-6, then weeks 7-8 r fruit,v8, chicken broth. 8 weeks....in 8 weeks i wanna lose 15 lbs..i can reach my GW then

 got my parking assignment switched (new job in the city) so im WAY closer nd safer! havent eaten but 1 now and later and like 8 blueberrries, tons of water b/c of the UTI and bout to start on the tea....luv urbanoutfitters nd thnx to the new job's generous pay i can afford it ALL THE TIME...so GW1:125...tanning package, GW2:120...clothes from H&M, GW3:110.... sum new makeup or skincare, GW4:105...tons of clothes from urbanoutfitters! yay! nd im gonna dance my skinny ass around all ova town.

 ok idk where the f my boy is at??!!! it shld hav been home from work already nd i made dinner!! a dinner im not gonna eat! ok so i gusse im not soo mad, but come on?? mabe there was an emergency (he works for a vet) or sumthing, nd i dont hav a cell so he cnt call but geez an hr. late?? errr gona kill sum time on my friends page...peace

been such a fatty for tooo loonnnggg... stops today,.....went shopping (veggies nd fruit), nd i had a small banana nd 1/2 a grapefruit for breakfast, already made my lunch (or dinner, seeing as how its like 4 now, nd nt hungry), but cldnt exercise(i slept wrong or sumthing nd i cant move my upper back or neck..it HURTS!!) b i thnk my plan shal work, just gotta start exercising. then 120...115...108!!! woot!

 ive benn yo-yoing between gained we3ight and original weight since the 23rd. it sux nd im on my cycle (nd i ALWAYS gain like 5-10lb water weight) so im at 130 again but this will be a new year indeed....going back vegan, no sugar,no carbs (fruits nd vegies dont count) xcept on sundays (whole grain only w/dinner), nd i have a workout schedule. 120 (by febuary 14th) here i cum!! (i 108 by may) shldnt b to hard...nd i dont care if it is, eating makes me feel disgusting.ugh! even if i dont gain! ive gotten my nails done, gonna start tanning in feb, nd getting my hair done in march (repairing it now) omg...new GW by march 12...115!! hav to be, it wld be like my thinnnest in forever, nd thats my bf's 21st b-day. i realy want to be his armcandy that nite, he realy deserves it! nd..... in addition to my reg diet, im going to alternate weeks for juice/water fasts starting jan 14!! b/c my wonderful bf got me a juicer!!! im so xcited! thin nd tan, w/pretty nails nd hair+my bf said since i work so hard at working out nd dieting hes gonna buy me clothes wen eva i want !! he is soo supportive, he always thinks im beautiful nd he only gets mad wen i put myself down nd ps...positive re-enforcment works way better than negative! even tho i still get negative in my head....but i babble, nd i need to finish laundry! woo

 so in like 2 days i've gained 5 lbs? i mean i kno i havnt been workin out, nd yester day i ate a bunch but come on! well i am due for my "gurlie time" (i kno im 12) so it probly is mostly water weight. but im goin on the elipptical ne way, nd even if it is legit weight i lose up tp 10lbs, wen its between 130-140lb, in like 5 days. but i have to at the most b 120 by v-day, which doesnt sound retarded-10 lb in 1 1/2 months. i can prbly do 118, yes thats it 118.

been baking....snuck sum chocolate. nd had to eat last nit 3 cups coffee, 1 piece of bread and like 6 forks of veggies...nt bad but im more dissapointed in myself today, then last nite. i moved the food and played verywell. noone said ne thing even tho i got a few looks, but watev. obviously im having no more today, nd im gonna try nd fit in yoga b4 bowling with mates. but tomarrows the b-day nd i have to eat but im wworkin out like crazy tomarrow and im only eating.....2 bite hotdog, 1/3 cup baked beans, 2 frenchfries ...err im sad i suck so much :( i just wanna be tiny, 110, thats all....but i can do it nd im the only one who has the power to get myself there

ps...found diet pills that dont have caffine!!!! (cant have alot of it or i dont sleep and have ever anxiety attacks)

the past two days i have not been able to post properly or comment as I'd like too. Everyone has been everywhere and I've had to sneak viewing my friends page, in like 5 minuet increments. it sucked. but i cant sleep and i have an early day any way soo, I'll be around for a lil'bit 


UPDATE: havent eatin properly in two day, wont eat at all today. i dont even hav the luxury of an iced soy latte :(, but i have to eat on the 23 (my special b-day dinner, i said i wanted water and air.....so not joking) but i already have a plan, so its all good. gonna weigh myself tomorrow and im working out today (burn in like 900 cal) ok thats all 4 now


*luvs 4 all*

 nothing so far but it s like 8:00 in the mornin. drinkin sum detox tea, gonna go to wallmart, then do sum yoga (50 min). run round my mum's,workout a bit more. come back jump on the eliptical, shower. go to mall. cum back, gift wrap, and finnaly make blankets.........shld be easy to not eat tho, being as i wont stop moving till 6:00pm, binge time actually. u know i"ll probably do my nails wen they eat. whooooooo! i have hgh hopes

 nothing xcept 1/2 of a tall iced soy latte (40 cal?, a whole one is 80 but i barely had 1/2) nd 1 SMALL pice of veggie sushi....which i only atr b/c i threw-out the other peices and my friend bought it for me nd it was like 12 bucks and i had 2 pieces total. it was all good but i didnt kno how many cals were in a piece and it was reallly good. i dont need binge food round me tho. so not xactly a fast but close....im a lil'disappointed but im still proud b/c i havent restricted this much in for ever! tommarow;NOTHING!!!

ate like a cow...and purged. i didnt gain, but im sooo pissed. i think if i change my enviroment  it will be easier. i live at my bf's house and they always eat soo late and such gross food. im gonna have to start going upstairs wen they eat. Maybe i'll work on y thinspo book!!! ant way fast ing till the 23. my b-day!! my bf got me a suprise and im sooo excited! ttyl

ok i've had nothing to day thus far, but seeing as how this wasnt supposed to b a fast or nething...if i get starving i"ll have a 1/2 a grapefruit as planed and sum broth....i didnt get to go on the eliptical yet but i still did that yoga nd a work out tape(45 min). i also have been cleanin round tha home: laundry, vacumed the rugs and stairs, and did the kitchen. i"ll prbly go on the elip later and do sum lunges...gonna go hav sum tea nd a cig
luvs

 ok, so i woke up and kept repeating to myself in bed.."u can do it, you can do it" then draged my fat ass outa bed and did 50 mins of yoga (kundalini). Now i just gotta go to my mums house (visit, workout sum more), cum back, jump on the elipticall, do bout a 100 crunches, nd summore strength traing. All in all i shld be burning like 950 cals. nd im only eating fruit, salad, nd broth.....but im not weighing my self till mon. Excitement!!!!

Absolutly nothing yet today! YAAAAAAAAAAAA